Where the Purple Grass Grows
by Dokuhan
Summary: After Bruce dies and Damian replaces his role as Robin, Tim finally falls over the edge he's been clinging to for years. Someone he doesn't expect is there to help though. Can he sacrifice everything for that one person? Slightly AU.


**Summary: ** After Bruce dies and Damian replaces his role as Robin, Tim finally falls over the edge he's been clinging to for years. Someone he doesn't expect is there to help though. Can he sacrifice everything for that one person?  
**Warnings: **AU, relationship/sex between a minor and (very, very old) adult, mentions of suicide attempt, **may be seen as triggering**.  
**Prompt:** _abandonment issues _for **hc_bingo**  
**Notes: **Set in an alternate universe where instead of becoming Red Robin, Tim Drake joins Ra's Al Ghul and the League of Assassins. Other stories may be set in this 'verse as well. 8D  
Something about this story still feels missing though _o I can't really place it but everytime I look at it, I feel that way.  
Un-betaed because I don't have any kind of beta...any offers?

I own nothing. Seriously, DC Comics may be a train ride a way, but I sadly do not have a job there. Although if Felicia Henderson can be allowed to write Teen Titans and then a Static series - I should be able to have Garth and Lian come back, Bruce and Dick make out, and then write a Tempest series. I'm a nerd.

* * *

Everybody has that breaking point.

It's not melodrama. It's not teen angst. It's fact. Anybody who tells you otherwise, although I'm sure you won't find many, has some serious denial to work through. Sure, you may be the strongest person you can be and able to get through whatever punches life throws at you, but eventually there will be that one moment you snap. When enough becomes too much and you can't bear anything anymore. That one moment, when your life changes forever.

My name is Tim Drake, well Tim Wayne if you want to get technical, I'm barely seventeen and I already reached that breaking point. I'm not even an "adult" yet and I've already grown too old for my own good. I've seen things nobody should see, experienced pain on different levels, and lost more people than I want to admit.

Losing people…that's what led to all of this. Sometimes, in the back of my mind, I wonder if I'm cursed. If anybody I touch is going to die. My parents, my friends, classmates, teammates, I'm always losing somebody. Even those I'm certain are too strong to die.

Like Bruce – Batman. I spent years of my life idolizing him and Dick, even Jason for a while. Sure, every kid dreams about being a superhero at some point in their life, but it was different for me. I didn't care if I ever got to know them. I was content to watch, learn, and idolize from afar and ecstatic to keep the knowledge of their secret identities to myself. Actually _becoming _Robin was just the icing on the metaphorical cake. It was just so incredible, greater than anything I could have ever dreamed. I don't think I ever felt as happy as I did then.

It's always brightest before the dark though.

Everybody in the caped community knows what happened to Batman. There's no real point in telling the story again, it just gets redundant after a while and it does still stab a little to think about it. That could be seen as the beginning of the end for me.

When Dick finally took the mantle I knew there would be changes, but I didn't think he would _ever _do what he did. Robin was all I had left, I was already clinging to whatever identity I had remaining and yet he took that away to give it to _**Damian **_of all choices! That spoiled, murderous brat. He _fired _me. I thought that with his previous history of having Robin ripped away from him he would never…

That was where I finally lost it. Being Robin was the most important thing to me by then. I mean, my biological family was basically out of the picture, my best friend was dead, and my guardian was long gone, what else was really there for me?

I can't really remember the next couple of days. I've tried so many times but it's all just fuzzy or complete blank outs. It must have been pretty bad though, because I was a complete wreck afterward. The first thing I can remember was seeing an unfamiliar ceiling. My head felt like it was swimming in mud and _everything _hurt. My stomach was doing flips and my limbs felt like lead if I tried to move them.

I managed to lift my head enough to look around a bit. My forearms were covered in bandages, there was no dried blood though so they had to have been freshly changed or whatever wounds I had weren't that severe. Had I attempted suicide during that period? It seemed that way to me. The rest of the room seemed as unfamiliar as the ceiling. I tried to sit up, but my vision blurred again and I fell back.

A hand ran through my hair and spoke softly, his voice smooth and a little bit arrogant, "Sleep, Timothy. Everything will be alright…" And that was all I could hear as a slid back into the darkness, strangely comforted by that one recognizable voice.

How or where Ra's found me is something I never really bothered to think about. My first two weeks with him and the League of Assassins were spent feeling sorry for myself. One reason being that I couldn't believe I had tried to do something so stupid as to kill myself and the other being that I was with people I wasn't supposed to trust, but yet, I couldn't help but feel…comfortable. It was so strange. Almost like how I felt when I became Robin, like I _belonged _there.

Of course, I wasn't very willing to accept that feeling at first. This was_Ra's al Ghul_, a sworn enemy of my family…what _was _my family. I tried my hardest to ignore that deep down feeling while at the same time not bothering to escape. Where would I go anyway? I didn't want to speak to Dick anymore, I had no idea what happened to Cass, Steph certainly wasn't a viable option. I considered Titans Tower, but for some reason the idea made me sick. I wasn't Robin anymore, what purpose would I serve there? I couldn't even bring myself to come up with a new identity.

So I stayed. And slowly, things just started to change.

Ra's almost never let me out of his sight and even when he did it seemed like it wasn't for long. He appeared to grow almost protective of me, like I belonged to him. It was discomforting at first, the idea of him taking any kind of interest in me that way was just too strange. Still, he continued to persist until slowly, I started to obey.

I stayed by his side as he went about his business. I sat next to him as we ate our meals. I shared a bed with him at night. He never touched me past the occasional stroke or caress. Before I knew it, I was pressing back into those touches, wanting more than just that. I started to desire more, I wanted _him_.

This wasn't the first time I felt attraction to someone of the same sex. You had to be blind and an idiot not to see the crush I had on Dick for years or the feelings I had for Kon. But Ra's was so much older and yet I was closer to acting on those feelings with him than I had ever been with someone else. It was scary…

Because I know that if I gave in, I could never leave. I could never be a Bat, a Titan, or a hero ever again. Ra's and the League would become my life, if I ever saw any of my old friends once more it would be from the opposite side. Fighting against instead of with them, was I really ready to give all of that up?

The decision should have been harder than it was. Maybe I really have lost it.

It could have been because Ra's _wouldn't_ die, not as long as he had anything to say about it at least. He had been around for centuries, he would outlive me a hundred times over, and I would never have to worry about losing him. For as long as I would live, I would be right by his side. Maybe that's why I finally fell.

Maybe being with him at my weakest point, having him take care and watch over me, had something to do with it. The fact that nobody else seemed to make any effort towards finding me felt like a punch in the gut. Did anybody even care that I was gone? If not the me as Robin, what about the me as Tim Wayne? I knew I had cut off ties with some people, but it still bothered me.

So many thoughts just kept prodding into my mind.

But right now, I really shouldn't be thinking. Not when Ra's' hands are everywhere and he's biting that spot on my neck, right bellow the leather collar. I whimper as his thrusts become harder.

He shifts so he can look down at me, that smug smirk plastered across his face. "Something on your mind, Timothy?"

Why should it matter why I'm in his bed? In the shortest amount of time, he figured out how to love me and make me feel in ways I could never dream of. He's managed to posses me in everyway and in return I've gained control over his heart. He listens to my ideas, seeks out my company, and demands that I be respected. He actually _wants _me.

And that's more than I can say about plenty of people who "cared" about me.

I grin and hook an arm around his shoulders. "Nothing at all." I hum before pulling him down to kiss him with every ounce of emotion and affection running through my body.

Stockholm Syndrome, love, insanity. Nothing matters anymore. As long as I'm with Ra's, I'm happy.

Because Ra's Al Ghul will be by my side for always.

_Always_.


End file.
